Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?

I don't know why it doesn't work

WHYYYYYY

I'm doing this because my computer is slowly dying and my mom probably won't get an external harddrive. I can deal with losing my pictures, because they're all online, and I can deal with losing my music because I can extract it from my iPod (except for the Doesn't Fit playlist, but oh well) so I just need to back up my GIFs and so here we go again

I don't really know why I saved this

Sweet dreams:

It's worsened by the fact that it's messed up.

To be honest, 2009 was really not a great year for me. School was not very good, there was music let out by my "favorite" bands that was severely disappointing (I haven't listened to Brand New Eyes or the new Say Anything though) and my general mood has been awful.

On a good note, I made lots of money (in comparison to the past), I enjoy all of my teachers, and I learned how to laugh at myself and take a joke.

The year's not completely over yet, but I doubt anything in the next two weeks will completely reverse 348 days of not so greatness.

Anyways my top album of the year is Fantasies by Metric, with Help I'm Alive/Gimme Sympathy being my favorite song.

Nothing Personal just got worse with each listen.

Instead of taking pictures or doing homework, I've been googling up photography tips and things like that. In my various searches I came upon this: socapa.org

And it sounds lovely. I mean, you get to go to New York or LA and learn how to take good pictures and go to theme parks and it sounds so amazing, and I really want to try and go this summer instead of spending it on the internet. But the problem is, it costs $2000+. It does cover everything, including food and equipment (they provide us with the cameras!) and board, but it just seems so steep.

Anyways, the point of this is two things:

1) Have you or anyone you know been to one of these camps? How was it? Did you (they) learn much?

2) Money raising suggestions if I can convince my madre

It would be really nice if someone could respond, because I want this reallyyy badly.

I said once "I do everything for the sake of nostalgia,"

I'm caught between letting go of the past

And what I used to like

And what I used to know

And what I used to believe

And who I used to be,

And learning who I am now.

I'm tired of pretending

But I just can't seem to lose my grip.

So I made a tumblr that will be fully snazzed and junk later, but now I have homework and that's more important. Anyways, it's here: http://nothingworkswithmyname.tumblr.com/

And so if you'd like to follow me or whatever, then that would be cool.

Or if you could direct me to some super cool ones to follow, that would be also pretty rad.

The rumoured Beckett baby of '07 is real:

Yeah.

How pissed would you be if your dad called you "wikipedia nonsense"?

On a different note, I really dislike the new Buzznet journal thing. I can't use cut any more, which is a pain.

90210 is on tv right now, and it's the season finale that I didn't see. I really am not a fan of the CW's fall line up. Every show is about the rich and beautiful and how ~scandalous their lives are, except for Supernatural, Smallville, and The Vampire Diaries. But I was too late for the Supernatural bandwagon and I've only seen about 3 episodes. But it intersects with Comedy Night on NBC. I'm also pissed about the cancellation of Reaper. That show was amazing.

So school started last Monday, and I'm already stressed. I cannot wait for October (that is mostly sarcasm, although there's an All Time Low concert I'm looking forward too if someone goes with me). I feel mostly isolated in a lot of my classes, and there's an awful lot of freshmen in my geometry class, which is a slight blow to my self esteem. I feel like I'm growing stupider by the day and I'm just worried about this year will turn out I guess. And everyone said sophomore year was easy.

Also, my camera died today. It refuses to turn on at all, even with fresh batteries. So Rest in Pieces shitty Kodak Easyshare blahblahblah 2007-2009. Maybe now I can get something that works just a bit better.

It's pretty bad timing because I did this pretty-kickass-if-I-say-so-myself-for-20-minutes-and-on-a-bus drawing of the On Letting Go (Circa Survive) album cover on my arm, and I wanted to take a picture of it before it washed off. Oh well. I'll deal.

Also, I've decided to take the plunge. I'll leave this cryptic, and it'll probably remain that way unless something bad comes out of it. But I hope it won't.

Anyways, I was just missing my blog and I was tired of writing profound notes with 140 or less characters. This gives me a chance to exercise my mind.

[/sarcasm]

I'm bored, so lyrics game. Not all of these are from the beginning of songs. No cheating!

1. This is our decision to live fast and die young

2. I walk a lonely road, the only I one that I have ever known

3. Wandering the streets in a world underneath it all

4. Maybe when the room is empty, maybe when the bottle's full

5. I comb the crowd and pick you out, my mouth moves too fast for you to figure it out

6. Skip town, slow it down

7. The fancy cars, the women and the caviar (LOL)

8. Look at my face, does it smile and say I'm okay?

9. Catching kisses all over the place, I'm cynical and paranoid

10. My old man gave me a tip he said "Don't waste your time with politics"

11. I'm packed and I'm holding

12. Sometimes like I feel like I don't have a partner

13. This is wrong, I should be gone

14. Just in case they're wondering, they've got us pinned terribly

15. Ahh look at all the lonely people

16. Saw him dancing there by the record machine

17. I'm givin' up, I'm givin' up slowly

18. In a field outside of town, we could always be alone

19. By the year 2020 I want to look at what we did

20. I guess it's only the men, who get fucked now and again

21. Your house is only another mile

22. Shut your mouth and listen closely because the silence isn't easy

23. We can live like Jack and Sally if we want

24. I like Saturdays and The Rocket Summer

25. Wake all the children from their sleep

I'm going to try to put together a Paul Rudd movie marathon for my friends because I love him and they're all like "lol who?"

In case you don't know who he is:

So what's your favorite movie in which he is featured?

(Note: NOT my picture. As the watermark says, Vicky Mathew)

I edited this just to see if I could do it, but I don't really see a purpose. I think it looks kinda cheesy. I mean the effect in general, not my editing job or the picture.

What about you guys?

I'm just playing around with my photo editor because I'm bored

(Buzznet Journal editor, why the hate for Firefox?)

I enjoy expressing my thoughts in the form of letters, for reasons unbeknownst to me.

Anyways, my friends and I were giving a listen to your band's newest album, Nothing Personal and we had some thoughts about it.

First, if your girlfriend or whatever was so obsessed with dancing along to her music or whatever and you wanted to leave, then why didn't you just turn of the stereo and say, "Hey, I'm ready to go." or just say, "I'm ready to leave, so you can keep dancing, and I can just go." Also, I'm hoping you wanted to leave so you could take her someplace more exciting. Because if all she looks forward to on the weekends is dancing and annoying you, then that's just a bit sad. Just saying.

Second, is it cool with Gabe Saporta that you stole his thing about having a party when the world ends? Or is "Hello Brooklyn" just an invitation to said party? If so, it's very inconsiderate to invite people to a party and not tell them where it is. Unless you were just bragging about your own invitation to the Saportaparty, then that would be the most rude thing of all.

Third, "Too Much" says the phrase "too much" too damn much. I think we get the fact that everything should be done in moderation. You don't have to tell us 60842952 times. Also, swing and a miss.

Lastly, I don't understand how you can put with being insulted the way you have been on this album. I don't know if you realize this, but you're a pretty damn good singer, so the whole Autotune thing just makes you "sound like you're underwater", which is never flattering.

But I do dig your band's latest album, even though I am preferential to the sound ala The Party Scene-era sound. It would be rad if you guys could rerecord it all fancy-like and with your voice actually sounding good, then that would mean there would be a chance that I would hear Noel live and in person before I die.

Sincerely,

Anele

PS. If you could tour with the Academy Is..., I'd also be happy camper.

Same goes with Paramore

and Envy on the Coast.

Also, if you guys come to Austin on this next tour, pleeeease don't come on a weekend. And it would be nicer if you just came here next time around, with The Academy is..., Paramore, and Envy on the Coast

Note: this is meant in good humor

I hate funks. Not like the groovy, wah wah music type; the moods where you just generally feel down and blah, for really no reason. Well, then again my friends have been ignoring me, among other things.

But anyways, my favorite think to do when I'm in a mood, besides be unnessarily snarky is make playlists, so here's what I've been listening to for the past month.

I guess it's my "Undecided" playlist, because it seems like a lot of the songs have to do with indecision or confusion.

To Bob Ross With Love by Gym Class Heroes

For You I Will by Teddy Geiger

Human by Jon McLaughlin

You Wouldn't Like Me by Tegan and Sara

Science Vs. Romance by Rilo Kiley

Weightless by All Time Low (this is like my staple)

The Fever by The Academy Is...

This Temporary Life by Death Cab for Cutie

Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson

Mouthwash by Kate Nash

Ocean and Atlantic by Mayday Parade

Grow Up and Blow Away by Metric

and because this song is just simply amazing: I Can Get Back Up by You, Me, and Everyone We Know

I'm also really loving New Perspective from Panic! at the Disco.

The lyrics are hilarious.

Here are some Panic(!) at the Disco icons made by my friend Aimee.

I requested them back when I was wayyy into Panic! and FBR in 2006 or 7 or something.

She's really good at this design type stuff. Here's her Deviantart link: http://aimsee.deviantart.com/

But yeah:

A tale of romance, vampires, and just the right amount of dazzle. With the aid of insightful gifts

"So Casey, what have you heard about the new family that moved in?" I inquired.

"Umm they're from the West Coast somewhere, they have a bunch of adopted kids and one of them's coming to school with us." She intoned, replyingly.

"Ooh reallyy. Boy or girl?" I shifted the phone to my other ear.

"Boy."

"Oohhh. Cute?"

"I don't know. I haven't seen him. I just know he's showing up on Monday."

"Jeeze Case, for the daughter of the principal you really know nothing."

"Jeeze Aim, I guess we'll both have to wait and see." She slammed down the phone.

What made her so angry?

On Monday Casey and I sat on the front steps of the school, like we usually do, except this time we looking for an unfamiliar face. We didn't really have to look; we could smell him before we even knew someone was coming.

"Oh God what is that smell?" I cried, holding my nose.

"I don't know. It's the worst thing I've ever smelled in my entire life." Casey replied, nasally.

"Seriously! It's like garbage mixed with man stench mixed with Axe mixed with... awfulness." I said, ironically.

"Where is it coming fro-"

She didn't even have to finish her sentence before the source was identified. A guy with the greasiest, grossest-looking, unwashed copper hair stepped out of a Volvo and skulked up the steps and into the building, a scowl on his face the entire time.

Casey immediately got that goobery, melty-faced look she got whenever she was in love with someone. "Oh my God. Amy, he is absolutely gorgeous."

"Um, what? Are you forgetting about that pungent stench we just experienced?" I said, with a grimace.

"So? He's gorgeous. That obviously overrules everything, ever. Even being unwashed."

"Well, I didn't get a good look at him, but I disagree."

"Whatever, Aim. I'm going to ask my mom to get me his schedule."

I could barely hide my chagrin as she walked into the building.

I entered the building myself, and I as I walked toward my locker,  I could feel eyes on the back of my neck. I turned around, and I saw Stinky McGorgeous himself walking down the hall, staring directly at me. He caught me eye and gave me a terribly creepy smile.

I guess he was kind of cute, if you like the "I've probably been punched a few times and I'm too stoned to care about anything, including my own personal hygiene" type.

I walked into Biology, which was my first class of the day, and I found him sitting at my lab table. I could barely contain my joy.

I took my seat and looked at him.

"So do you have a name?"

He replied back in the most terribly fake American accent I have ever heard. "It's Edward Cullen."

"That sucks for you. You don't have like a nickname or something? 'Cause I can think of plenty."

He glared at me, snarled, then looked down at his empty notebook.

"Jeeze Louise, don't get your panties in a twist."

He made no reply.

Class started and everyone started to work on the study guide we had been assigned for the day. I was working on answering a question about dihybrid crosses when I could feel those eyes on my neck again. I turned toward Edward and he made a weird face at me. Suddenly, he stood up and walked out of the room with the hall pass.

What a weirdo.

I'll be gone until Monday because I'll be on a cruise!

It was a birthday present.

The website claims I'll get cell service, so I'll still probably be tweeting, so if you want you can check out what I'm doing.

But yeah.

I'm psychedd.

So yeah, today's my birthday. The day where I'm tangibly another year older.

I've been looking forward to today for a while and I'm not really sure why exactly. Maybe I'm looking for a fresh start after the past year. All I know is I'm happy to finally be 15, which also means I can take my permit test and finally start driving. Yessss.

Aaanyways, thank you super much to Claire (musiciscool) for suggesting me as an OG, which really brightened up my day a lot. And thank you to everyone on this website, which has managed to make my year better.

So yeah thanks everyone.

And also: I've decided Weightless is going to be my theme for the year.

Lately, I've been kind of moping around and sitting feeling sorry for myself, for various reasons. I'm not exactly ecstatic right now, but I feel like I should start making some kind of note of the good, albeit little, things that happen every day. I don't remember where my journal, so Buzznet it is.

4/22/09 - The people in my class liked my 6 Weeks Multimedia project that I worked my ass off for. I felt really proud of it in the end. Aaand I did okay to well in piano today, and I think I'll be ready for the recital on Sunday.

4/23/09- I stayed home from school and it was lovely.

4/24/09- I found $10 dollars on the side walk! I would have tried to return it to someone, but it was earlyish and there wasn't anyone around.

4/25/09- I did my hair, and it looks loverly. Or at least better than usual.

4/26/09- Piano recital! I did really awesome on the first song. I was quite happy.

4/27/09- I went to the library andddd I found the Meg Cabot book I was looking for.

4/28/09- SVU was interesting. Ha.

4/29/09- I made brownies! Well, as of right now they're baking, but still. Chocolate craving fixed.

4/30/09- No more state testing, which means I don't have to sit in a room and do nothing for nearly 4 hours! And I watched this Ingrid Michaelson concert on tv tonight, and it really just calmed down and mellowed me out. She has a lovely voice.

Enter lots of Lazyness and lots of average and generally uninteresting things

5/25/09- No school, and I had the nice chance to relax and forget I have responsibilities for 24 hours. I read three books. Just today.